Sirius's Brilliant Plan
by she was the book thief
Summary: Happy New Year Vicky! Here is a Lily/James oneshot for you! I love you!


Happy New Year Vicky! I know it's already 2012 where you are, but it's not where I am! :P I loves you so so so so much!

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter and everything else.

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><p>Sirius's Brilliant Plan<p>

"Prongsie, I have a brilliant plan!" Sirius announced, bouncing into the dormitory. One of the boys already present sighed deeply, while the other two looked up at him in eager anticipation.

"And that would be…" began James, the young man to whom the exclamation was addressed.

"You and me –" Sirius started.

"Thanks, Padfoot, but I'm not really interested in guys…try Remus, he might be a little more receptive," James drawled, smirking and ignoring Remus's indignation.

His best friend glared at him. "Oh, _James,_ you wound me to the core. My heart is broken, rent into pieces by your cruel and –"

"Yes, yes, we know, you'll never recover," a third boy, Remus Lupin, said. "What's your 'brilliant' plan?"

"Yes, _anyways_," Sirius said pointedly. "James _dear_ and I switch places for a day."

"Brilliant plan, Pads," James said sarcastically. "There remains the slight problem that we don't look identical."

"Well, you both have black hair," Peter Pettigrew, the fourth member of their group, said. "Maybe if Sirius cuts his hair –"

"No way in HELL am I cutting my hair," Sirius growled, sounding very much like a dog. Remus and James laughed. "We'll just use Polyjuice or something."

"Our Polyjuice supply is used up," James said acidly. "All thanks to yours and Wormy's 'wonderful' prank last week. It'll take a month to make more."

"There are other ways of changing your appearance, though," Remus said pensively.

"Yeah! Like you could Transfigure each other!" Peter exclaimed.

"Exactly what I was thinking, Pete," Remus said warmly, clapping him on the shoulder. Peter beamed.

James was placated. "Very well. We shall commence Mission Switcheroo tomorrow."

"Switch—eroo?" asked Sirius between loud barks of laughter. James glared defensively.

"Thou shallst not mock the All-Powerful Creator of Names!" he exclaimed loudly.

"'Shallst' isn't a word, James," Remus said quietly. "I believe you mean 'shall.'"

James rolled his eyes at Sirius and Peter, and then sat up suddenly. "Wait a second! I will only consent to participate in Mission Switcheroo on one condition: Sirius does not ruin my chances with Lily!"

Now it was Sirius's turn to roll his eyes. "Fine, whatever. Now, let's get down to business…"

"Time to rise and shine!" Alice MacMillan chirped, as punctual as a bird. Her best friend Lily Evans mumbled something unintelligible and put her pillow over her head.

Another young woman with straight blond hair rolled her eyes. "I don't see why you even bother," she said.

"Because one of these days, Mary, Lily's going to be a morning person!" announced a curvy brunette, in an extremely chipper voice.

"Exactly, Marlene!" Alice exclaimed, missing the sarcasm. Marlene and Mary rolled their eyes behind their friend's back.

"I'm going down to breakfast," Marlene declared a second later.

"And I'm coming," Mary added. "Good luck with Lily, Alice."

When the two girls reached the bottom of the stairs, they were immediately hailed by a group of four boys lounging about in the common room chairs.

"Have you given up on getting Lily up?" a brown-haired boy of medium height asked sympathetically.

"We have," replied Marlene McKinnon, gesturing to herself and Mary. "Alice hasn't, though. She's still under the delusion that Lily will magically be a morning person."

"Well, this _is_ a school of magic," a boy with long, dark, hair said. The stout boy sitting next to him laughed. Marlene rolled her eyes, evidently not impressed.

"Can we help wake her up?" James Potter, the fourth boy, asked mischievously. The other black-haired young man shot him a warning glance, which in itself was odd. Since when did Sirius Black warn James Potter to stay out of trouble?

Mary smirked. "Of course! Lily will be just _delighted_ to see you! Come right up!"

Remus murmured "I don't think this is such a good idea…" but no one heard him. The boys leapt over the bottom step – having figured out the trick to getting up the girls' staircase in their third year, of course – led by Marlene and Mary.

The second the boys had burst through the door, James started jumping up and down on Lily's bed. She and Alice shrieked at the same time.

"BLOODY HELL JAMES! GET OUT OF HERE!" Lily screamed, pulling her blankets around her.

James's mouth dropped open in surprise. "I got Lily Evans to swear," he whispered, shell-shocked.

"JAMES POTTER!" Alice screeched. "HOW DARE YOU COME –"

"Ow, my ears!" Sirius exclaimed.

"SIRIUS BLACK! DON'T YOU DARE –" Alice began again, and was abruptly silenced by Sirius.

"That is it, Potter," Lily said in a deadly low voice, taking out her wand.

James squeaked and ran behind Peter, who squeaked and ran behind Sirius, who squeaked even higher than both James and Peter and hid behind Remus, who sighed exasperatedly.

"You must be a highly talented witch to have such strapping young men cowering at the end of your wand, Lily," he said, chuckling.

"And those strapping young men will no longer be strapping if they don't get out of here right – now," retorted Lily through clenched teeth.

Peter was the first to leave, followed by Sirius, Remus, and with one last fleeting look, James. "Thank heavens," Lily sighed. Then she turned to Mary and Marlene. "Whose _brilliant_ idea was it to let them in?"

"Um…" Mary trailed off. "Well, the important thing is, you're awake now. Get dressed, and we'll go down to breakfast."

Fifteen minutes later, Lily and her friends had settled at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall.

"Good mo-orning, Lily!" Sirius sang, beaming at her.

"You," Lily whispered venomously, picking up her wand.

"Somebody's not in a good mood today," James murmured, and Lily turned her angry gaze on him.

"Lils, why don't you try one of these pumpkin muffins?" Mary asked, offering one to her friend. Remus shot her a grateful look.

Lily took one and crushed it in her hand. "Thanks, Mary," she said, too brightly.

Marlene and Mary exchanged wary glances. "Maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all," Marlene muttered under her breath.

"Where's Dorcas?" Peter asked.

"Hospital wing, remember?" Alice reminded him. "She wasn't feeling well yesterday. Merlin! It's five to nine!" she exclaimed. "We have to get to Transfiguration!"

And so the seventh-year Gryffindors left the Great Hall, along with the other hundreds of students.

"Good morning, class," Professor McGonagall said, striding into the room. She took a second glance at James, her best student. "Mr. Potter, is there something the matter?"

James jerked himself awake. "What? No – no, I'm fine, Professor."

McGonagall gave him an intense look with her steel-grey eyes. "Hm. I had really hoped that giving you the title of Head Boy would put a stop to your tomfoolery, but it seems I am incorrect."

Marlene snorted.

"Is there something you would like to share with the class, Miss McKinnon?" McGonagall asked her. When Marlene shook her head, she continued, "Excellent. Now, today we will be continuing our study of Conjuring Spells…"

Most of the class passed without incident, unless you counted Annie Stewart, a rather inept Hufflepuff who shouldn't have been in the class in the first place, accidentally Transfiguring her partner into a garter snake, although the wary professor was constantly observing James and Sirius for any sign of misbehavior.

"Now, who can tell me the proper way to perform the Animatus Conjurus Spell?" McGonagall asked her class. She raised her eyebrows in surprise when Sirius raised his hand and James didn't. "Very well…Mr. Black?" she inquired, ignoring Lily's, Remus's, and a Ravenclaw called Marcus Corner's, raised hands.

Surprisingly, Sirius answered the question correctly, while James shot him a rather stern look. Lily looked from one to the other, seemingly puzzled, and Sirius winked at her. She glared back.

Twenty minutes later, the class was over. "And for homework," McGonagall said as they packed up their bags, "practice the Animatus Conjurus Spell, and a foot on its uses, due Monday."

The class groaned, and McGonagall gave them another one of her infamous stern looks.

"It's going to be a long day," James groaned. "I can sense it already."

"Says the one who failed Divination," Sirius muttered.

"If you keep lagging behind like that, you'll be late for Potions," Remus said, walking ahead of them. "_Double_ Potions."

"Even more reason to be late for class," Sirius said, waving an hand.

Lily strode past them, her arms folded across her chest. Then, suddenly, she stopped and peered at Sirius. "Are you feeling all right?" she asked him, sounding concerned. "You're acting strangely."

A look of panic shot across Sirius's handsome face and he glanced at James wide-eyed. "Uh – erm, no, I'm fine," he said.

"Worried, Evans?" James said, grinning lazily.

"Of course not," she snapped, speeding past them at once.

Halfway through their double Potions period, in which they were supposed to be practicing brewing the Draught of Living Death, Sirius started to get bored. "Say, Peter," he began. "Are you up for a prank?"

The stout boy nearly bounced in his seat from excitement. "Of course, Sirius! What are we doing?"

"Hmm…" Sirius stroked his non-existent beard. "Let's prank James! We can blow up his potion or something!"

"Yeah!" Peter cried in elation. "I think I have some fireworks with me, hang on." He dug through his pockets with a grubby hand, at last pulling something out with a triumphant air and, with a careful eye on James, passing it to Sirius.

"Yes…" Sirius hissed. "Poor little Jamsie won't know what hit him." Cautiously he pointed his wand at the pitiful firework and levitated it behind the unsuspecting James and into his cauldron.

"Wait for it…wait for it…" Sirius whispered. "Now –"

A resounding boom erupted from James's cauldron as sparks whizzed everywhere and most of the class screamed in terror (or delight, in Sirius and Peter's case).

James looked at his ruined potion in despair. "Merlin, why?" he agonized, flinging his hands to the heavens as if searching for answers.

Sirius and Peter snickered behind him.

The rest of the day passed without anything truly eventful occurring, except for one small incident in Charms, the only class in which Lily sat behind James, rather than in front. At the end of the class, Lily approached the boy who had been chasing after her for the past seven years. "Did you do something to your hair?" she asked, eyebrows pinched in confusion. "It looks different."

James was stunned. Lily paid attention to his hair? Since when? "Uh – um, no," he stuttered.

Lily gave him a measuring look with her distinctive green eyes, then shrugged and walked away.

After dinner, the seventh year Gryffindors gathered in their common room, as usual, to do homework and talk (mostly the latter). Lily started to take her books out of her bag, but then bit her lip and gave a slight shake of her head. "Sirius, can I talk to you for a moment?"

The swarthy Gryffindor looked startled, but shrugged and got up. "Sure..where?"

Lily led him to a secluded corner of the common room. "This is good enough," she said. Then, looking unusually anxious and taking a deep breath, she said, "There's something I need to tell you."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I sort of gathered that, Evans."

Lily gave him a look. "It's just – it feels like you're the one I should tell, you're his best friend, and I just feel so –"

"BLOODY HELL!" Sirius shouted. Lily shushed him. "Bloody hell," he whispered. "I've figured it out!"

"You have?" she asked, eyes panicked.

"You fancy Remus!" he exclaimed.

Lily looked appalled. "No, I don't!" she said, seeming to both laugh and cry at the same time. "I mean, I love him as a friend, but not in that way. At all."

"Oh," Sirius said, looking hugely relieved. "That's wonderful!"

Lily raised her eyebrows at his energetic response.

"I – I mean, James would kill him if you did," he said.

"Yes," Lily agreed. "Um, well, I just realized this today, but I – I think I'm fa – falling in love with James." She looked up at him quickly and then looked down.

"YOU ARE?" Sirius yelled. "Lily, I lo – I have to tell you something."

Just then he felt his hair change length and form and his body structure change back to something much more familiar.

"Bloody hell," he whispered, pressing a hand to his messy hair.

"It's alright, James," Lily murmured. "I already know."

"Wha – what?" James yelped.

"You're not _that_ good of an actor, you know," she said, smirking. "And Sirius didn't Transfigure your hair exactly right. Besides, this wasn't even his plan!"

"It wasn't?" James exclaimed. "Whose was it then?" But looking at Lily's face, he already knew the answer.

"Lily? You – _you_ thought of this? You told Sirius that we should switch places for a day? And then you go declaring your love for me – when I'm Sirius, I might add – and – and – _blimey_!"

Lily nodded, slowly and shyly.

James's face broke into a huge grin. From head to toe, he looked like the happiest person in the world. Except for one thing.

Leaning forward, he murmured in Lily's ear, "I thought you might like to know, I'm falling in love with you, too."

Lily grinned. "Good. Otherwise all this planning would have gone to waste."

"I still can't believe _you_ did this," James said, looking awed.

Lily glared at him, appalled by the fact that he would underestimate her.

"Right!" James exclaimed, smacking his head. "May I kiss you now?" he whispered.

"Always," Lily murmured, smiling as he bent his head down to hers, scooped her up in his arms, and pressed his lips to hers in a deep kiss.

The common room, which had been quite loud up until that point, suddenly went silent at the sight of James Potter kissing Lily Evans. And Lily Evans kissing James Potter _back_.

Several catcalls burst from the crowd, most of them being emitted from Sirius's (who now looked like himself) mouth.

"Oh, shut up," James glared at his best friend, while grinning at Lily's red face.

"Hey, Lily?" he asked, arms still wrapped around her. "Go out with me?"

Her only response was to kiss him fiercely.

"Is that a yes?" James asked, removing his mouth from hers after a long while. Lily glared at him.

"Yes," she admitted begrudgingly.

James jumped into the air in celebration, dragging Lily, who was at first startled and then gave in to laughter, up with him.

"SHE SAID YES!" he shouted, and the common room burst into applause.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Let's go for a walk," she said, tugging at her boyfriend's hand.

Later that evening, James said, "You know, you could have just told me yourself…without going through all this trouble…"

"I suppose…" Lily agreed. "But this is a much better story to tell our children, don't you think?"

"Yeah," he replied. "Wait – our CHILDREN? OUR children!"

"Oops," Lily muttered, a bit exasperated but mostly amused by his reaction. "Now you'll never calm down."

"SIRIUS!" James shouted, bounding down the corridor. "Lily said OUR CHILDREN! We're going to have KIDS!"

"Evans, what did you do to him?" Sirius asked, rubbing a hand over his face and emerging from the portrait hole.

Lily's expression was split between deeply amused and apologetic. "Um, I might have mentioned children?" she said.

Remus, who had followed Sirius out, groaned, ignoring James's bouncing up and down and screaming that he was going to have children with Lily Evans. "Um, Lily? A word of advice? Don't mention having children with him again, until you're at least engaged. He's been dreaming about it for, oh, about the past four years."

"Oh, God," Lily moaned. "What have I do –"

She was cut off abruptly as James swept her nearly to the floor in a passionate kiss, but responded enthusiastically. Beside the couple, Sirius retched.

"Lily!" he shouted. "Part of our deal was that you wouldn't snog in front of me! Oh, screw this," he said resignedly as neither one of them responded.


End file.
